a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
it's great music for shaving your balls
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
soo... how was my night?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
