this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I forgot how hot balto sounded
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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