hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I can't turn off my feet"
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
