I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
