You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
You smell like a Billy Joel song
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
