But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
