Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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