Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
