I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
try to milk me bitch
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