Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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