none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
