If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I wish there were birth control emojis
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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