Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
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