well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
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