Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
