So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
