Rock
Scissors
Fuck
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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