youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
The air was thick with penises
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
