dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
