Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
