So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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