Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
