I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
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