Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
