Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
