i just google imaged poop.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Randomize
