Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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