Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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