lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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