WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
he just fucked me for my cheese.
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