I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Randomize
