I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
