11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Randomize
