Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I love how my cats smell like pot.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
