Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Im just a social blackout drinker.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Randomize
