Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Randomize
