32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
