he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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