you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
