Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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