she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
