Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
