I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
