Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
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