So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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