She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
