Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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