2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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