There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize
