Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize
