if only i could text you this smell
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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