I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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