I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
