you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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