he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
